It was born as of gift from my wonderful aunt Dolores. It fit like a glove, cut to perfection, a tailor made wilderness crown. I often wonder what I did before our fateful meeting. It has become so much a part of ME. The hat, the beanie, my trademark. I have worn this hat from the bottom of the grand canyon to the arctic ocean. I have worn it on the Conan O’Brien show, Oprah, and even to black tie affairs in New York City. It has become a huge part of my life. People always ask me, “What’s under that hat?!?” I mostly like to keep them guessing. I’ve heard speculation of a bozo the clown balding pattern, to a spiky type mullet. Truth be told, I actually have quite a mane of hair. Funny thing is, no one wants to see it now.
I showed up on a film set to make a commercial one day with my hair styled and ready to go. The director quickly ask me if I had my hat. I told him I left it at home. He told me that nobody would know who I was without it. He quickly sent his assistant to retrieve it. Again, my hair only got a glimpse of the light of day.
Now, I just assume, and the hat goes for a ride on my head everywhere. It has now become part of me. But, I’m not the only one, other men have followed the same path. Musicians like U2′s ‘The Edge’ and Zac Brown are all known for their iconic beanie. In fact, you would hardly recognize them without it! 
This hat has been through a lot, but it almost met it’s death recently. It would have been the kind of legendary death that the hat deserves, but like all things dear to your heart you wish it eternal life. I was working with a wolverine, when he spotted my hat and decided he wanted to have it. In it’s powerful jaws it went, the wolverine giving it a heavy tug. It was nearly ripped of my head, but my quick reactions saved the hats life. It would have certainly been torn to shreds. It now has a lopsided, uneven stretch to its right side, a true battle scar. As time passes, I fear for the worst. I watch my poor hat become more and more tattered. It’s ever growing character is now simultaneously becoming it’s demise. My aunt and others have desperately tried to find a match, but to no avail. And, yet, I believe that somewhere out there it exists. A Chaps brand, skull cap cut, dark navy blue knitted beanie. If you’re out there, come home!
